A Career Woman and A Housewife

Here's the deal, this our blog... This is where we come to write about our lives. The Good. The Bad. The Ugly. And of course, The Beautiful. We welcome anyone to come on in, take a look around and have a few laughs. Nothing makes us happier than nice comments and finding a new BLOG friend. If you can't handle what we have to say, just leave quietly and pretend you've never been here...We will retaliate.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Welcome, Mammoth Zit

Hello Mammoth Zit,
I wish I could say it is a pleasure to see you again, but I would be lying. However, I have decided to kill you with kindness, for I have cursed you many times before but you still come back. Using Career Woman's counseling techniques, I have decided to try reverse psychology.
First I would like to thank you for positioning yourself on the side of my face. This is much more acceptable than on the tip of my nose so that I can look forward to guiding the sleigh tonight or in the middle of my forehead (curiously, exactly between my eyes) so that I look like a three-eyed monster straight out of a f-ing greek myth.
Not to discourage you from the kindness you have already shown me, Mammoth Zit, but I was hoping we could come to a compromise about how you will appear the next time you will for surely grace me with your presence. Instead of blind siding me through the night, unannounced and rudely unwelcome, Mammoth Zit, you leave me defenseless. Perhaps you could start off slowly... as a small discoloration or blemish if you will. Give me a chance to attack you with a dollop of clearasil or a strong astringent before you develop into Mt. Everest. This courtesy would be greatly appreciated. In return, I will promise not to call you dirty names and squeeze the living hell out you.
As I have told you before, Mammoth Zit, I somewhat understood you when I was an adolescent. Though I did not like you, I tolerated your misbehavior. I would let it slide now and then when you invited your cousins Pimple and Blackhead over for a visit. I cancelled plans and refused to go to school when The Acne Family Reunion would gather on my face. That was then and this is NOW, Mammoth Zit. I am 24 years old and I no longer have the patience for you. You ruin my day and stomp on my self confidence. Damn you.
I would appreciate a quick demise, for my children are no longer taking me seriously and my husband thinks that he has married a 13-year-old. You, Mammoth Zit, have become a push-button in the game of "Let's Make Mommy's Eyes Water" and the road block of my sex life...I DO NOT FEEL SEXY WHEN YOU ARE AROUND! (please look forward to a letter from my husband). You are the epitome of my embarrassment.
Sincerely,
Housewife

Nikki: Morgan, all of our (as of right now, non-existent) readers, that don't know me, think I am a crater-face.

Morgan: (after I corrected Nikki's spelling on 4 words of that last sentence) No they won't.

Nikki: (that is why I need Career Woman in my life) I'll just post pics of us so they can see how pretty we are.

Morgan: Okay! ... We are pretty!


2 Comments:

  • At 8:16 AM, Blogger Mirella said…

    You need to get some of this stuff:

    http://www.delush.com/2005/01/mario_badescu_d.html

    It works SO WELL.

    Also, read the other product reviews on delush.com. One of my blogger friends started the site with one of her blogger friends. They are product geniuses!

     
  • At 7:03 AM, Anonymous Housewife said…

    WOW! I'm definately going to try that! You may have just saved the day!!!!! Mirella, you totally ROCK!

     

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