A Career Woman and A Housewife

Here's the deal, this our blog... This is where we come to write about our lives. The Good. The Bad. The Ugly. And of course, The Beautiful. We welcome anyone to come on in, take a look around and have a few laughs. Nothing makes us happier than nice comments and finding a new BLOG friend. If you can't handle what we have to say, just leave quietly and pretend you've never been here...We will retaliate.

Monday, April 11, 2005

An Open Letter to Duquesne University

Dear Duquesne,

To say I hate you, would be a blatant understatement. Therefore, I have chosen not to monitor myself or the words I would like to say. I have figured some things out about you Duquesne, number 1: you are a liar, and must only hire those doctors and directors of programs that do lie. You see Duquesne, you lied to me. I was supposed to schedule for the upcoming summer and fall semesters two weeks ago. But I could not Duquesne, because surely life happens, and my beloved grandmother passed away and I was not able to attend my scheduling meeting with the director of your assine program. The director of your assine program informed me that there should not be any scheduling conflicts with me putting it off for a week and set me up with someone else for a meeting.

So I met with another director last week. You made me feel as though I was stress free, (although I feared for my life and my right leg in fear that she would eat it) and that every one of my classes was under control and graduating from your master's program in a year from now would not be a problem. None the less, you have decided to mother-f$%^ me again. You see Duquesne, you like to pride yourself on being the holiest of all holy holier catholic universities who claim to love and worship god, jesus, mary and every other holy bible person out there, and instead you screw your students up one side and down the other. You make me want to find the largest stick of dynamite and set it up in your department offices and blow the living shit out of your buildings so that all that is left are small pieces of char, ash, and dust. This I will surely dance, and roll around in with much ease and satisfaction.

You sent me a letter that I of course received on a Saturday so that I could not call and bitch out every person in your office for, stating that the courses that I am required to take to graduate from your assine program has been closed. Meaning too many people had signed up for it, and I signed up too late. Hmmm... the director of your program said that I should be "fine," and that this scheduling late, bull shit of a deal, would "be just fine." Looks like that isn't the case, now doesn't it. So anyways, bottom line, Ricky-Retard-Registrar's Office, put me in the damn class. If you do not put me in the damn class, I will be forced to stay here another semester, forcing me to piss in your new shubbery, take a dump on the front lawn of the School of Education, and drink profusely and dance naked in the water fountain that a least a portion of my $100,000 + that has been put into your blood-sucking, money-laudering, asshat university. After all the dancing around in you umpteen million dollar water fountain, I will surely be nauseous from all the drinking and I WILL take my color-draining face into Old Main and find the nearest head honcho in the building and puke in their coffee cup. This will surely be fun.

So yes, Duquesne, this is a threat. I look forward to hearing from you and I thank you for your time and cooperation.

Sincerely yours,
Career Woman

4 Comments:

  • At 11:11 AM, Blogger Mirella said…

    You definitely need to call Ricky-Retard-Registrar's Office and tell them what's up. And tell them how you will hunt them down and kill their children if they don't let you in the class. Also, cry. Crying can help in sitautions like this.

     
  • At 11:12 AM, Blogger A Career Woman and A Housewife said…

    I will give you the $100,000+ to pay Dusquesne if you seriously piss in the shrubbery, take a dump on the front lawn and dance naked in the water fountain! Hell, I'll dance naked with you if there's alcohol involved. Then we'll go repent in the chapel and surely Duquesne will forgive us since they are holier than all of the holiest of holy people in the holy world!
    -Housewife

     
  • At 2:25 PM, Blogger Rachael said…

    You have officially become the mouthpiece for frustrated college students around the world! You are so super fantastic!

     
  • At 5:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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