A Career Woman and A Housewife

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Friday, April 15, 2005

Wells Fargo - The Saga Continues

So, I'm on the phone with the bank this morning, making sure my check book is up to snuff, when it occurs to me................I have not received my Wells Fargo bill in the mail for the month of April. OH WHAT A BIG SURPRISE! So after much deliberation, (should I just change my identity, disguise my children and run for hills, or should I attempt to talk civilized with the asshats of Wells Fargo) I decided that I didn't have the energy to be a fugitive on the run today, so I locked myself in the bedroom (to muffle the loud swear words Mommy might be using, from the innocent children) and dialed the number.

Today I spoke with Kleptomaniac Kristina. She tried to strip me of my monetary assets and had no remorse. Am pissed.

Despite my allusive attempt to be polite on the phone, and offer my payment without promoting the fact that it IS Wells Fargo's fault that I did not get my bill in the mail, Kleptomaniac Kristina says, "there will be an 8 dollar charge for making your payment over the phone."

Nikki: Uuuhh, Kristina, I live in the great state of Massachusetts and although this state has a $500,000 house median, one of the highest tax rates in the country and you can't buy a gallon of milk for under $5, it does however protect it's impoverished citizens from being charge for phone payments.

Kleptomaniac Kristina: excuse me (?)

Nikki: It's illegal... you can't charge me for making a phone payment...it's against Massachusetts law.

Kleptomaniac Kristina: I know nothing about that... you're total is $60.90

Nikki: Um, now you do know, I just told you... my total is $52.90

Luckily for Kleptomaniac Kristina there are distant sounds of hostility and bloodshed coming from living room, I pause a moment to open the bedroom door and peek into the living room where I see a game of tug of war with a baby doll used as the rope and it's splitting at the neck line...there are traces of stuffing on the floor and the veins in Sophia's forehead look as they're about to burst.

Nikki: OK, Kristina, I'll deal with it later $60.90 it is....bye.

I swear, if those nitwhits charge me, I'll own the company!

But anyway, during the course of that conversation I was able to come to the conclusion that April's bill has also been returned to Wells Fargo marked "undeliverable" and I assumed it is because they still have my maiden name on the bill and the dumb Littleton Post Office will deliver every other piece of useless mail to me with every other Joe Shmoe's name on it, that ever lived in this apartment but somehow finds it necessary to return things with my maiden name on it.

I was also able to convince Kleptomaniac Kristina to put the bill "In Care Of" my married name, hopefully these numbnuts can get it right this time.
Oh yeah, and they won't change the loan into my married name until I send them a photo copy of my marriage license that is locked in a safety box in Pennsylvania. Hopefully they will hold their breath for this and all die a slow miserable death.



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