A Career Woman and A Housewife

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Wednesday, May 04, 2005

American Idol Announces 2 NEW Judges

Let's put our hands together for the two, newest, greatest, most beautiest judges in the world... A Career Woman and a Houswife...

(In reference to Scott Savol's performance)
CW: I hate his fat fingers and he keeps showing them.
HW: I hate his fat cheeks, I want to bite them off.
CW: No Nik, that's what you say to babies
HW: But I am going to barf them on his face...I wouldn't do that to a baby.
CW: I think I have a crush on Carrie because there are no cute boys on this show. We should make a post about this... Get a pen.
HW: I can't, Sophia's on my lap.
CW: Fuck the baby, just let ME do everything for this blog, although people think I should just give it to you.
Disclaimer: A Career Woman and a Houswife are in no way, shape, or form prejudice towards fat people or babies.

(In reference to Vonzell's performace)
CW: Vonzell's family are full of Starkysha's with no teefers... do you know what I mean? They are all fat with apple bottoms.
Disclaimer: A Career Woman and a Houswife are again, in no way, shape, or form prejudice towards fat people or African-Americans.

(In reference to Bo Bice's costume)
CW: Is this an indian reservation or American Idol? Come on Bo.
HW: Bo's beard looks like pubic hair...it's not even filled in the whole way... Oh well, Carrie's gonna rock the house!
Disclaimer: A Career Woman and Housewife are in no way, shape, or form prejudice towards indians or those who like to wear pubic hair on their face.

(In reference to Carrie Underwood's performance)
HW: Carrie reminds me of, AWE SHIT, she just peed on me.
CW: Okay change your pants and I will call you when Carrie is done...
HW: She sang my Rascal Flatts, she stole my heart.
CW: Maybe that should be Carrie and I's song for our lesbian love affair.
Disclaimer: A Career Woman and a Housewife are in now way, shape or from prejudice towards gays or incontinence.

A Career Woman and a Houswife's Predictions for American Idol... Wednesday night, see ya later Anthony Federfoooo. Next Week, Scott "I beat girls" Savol is outtie. The week after next, Vonzell "my family has apple bottoms" Solomon...And the final 2: Bo "I grow pubic hairs on my face" Bice and the winner of American Idol 2005, Miss Carrie "Everything about me is perfect, especially my teeth" Underwood!

Thank you, we will be here allll week. What's your predictions?
-Career Woman and Housewife

14 Comments:

  • At 6:23 AM, Blogger A Career Woman and A Housewife said…

    Hehehehe Morg, that was funny, that was exactly our conversation too. I love the discclaimers - the best!
    -Housewife

     
  • At 6:40 AM, Blogger A Career Woman and A Housewife said…

    Well, it is obvious that we need to disclaim everything!
    -Career Woman

     
  • At 7:25 AM, Blogger KE said…

    That was your funniest post ever I think. Here are my comments, pretending to be new judge #3:

    Scott Savol - you are not black, you are not ghetto, you are just a big white boy with a little bit of soul. I've been trying to get you kicked off for 5 weeks.
    Anthony Fedblahblahblah - I've been trying to get YOU kicked off for 6 weeks because I hate your tight jeans that your package pokes through and I'm really sorry for this, but please please please cover up the hole in your neck when you sing.
    Vonz - Singit Sista! Love her! And her apple-bottom crew!
    Carrie - Aw yeah she's my little country girl. She can rock her some Rascal Flatts!
    Bo - I'm over it. You're boring.

    Disclaimer: I apologize for my ignorance and hope I didn't offend anyone or their baby's mommas.

     
  • At 7:45 AM, Blogger A Career Woman and A Housewife said…

    Aren't we good! K.E. is definately our judge Number 3... let's boot Randy "yo dawg, what's up dawg" Jackson and pull in K.E.
    -Career Woman

     
  • At 8:36 AM, Blogger LĂ©onie said…

    Sorry for being irrelevant to your post.. was your site down this morning (or earlier today, I know we're in different time zones!). Because I couldn't access it and now mine's doing the same thing! Did you notice yours being strange?

     
  • At 8:44 AM, Blogger Erin said…

    yes, your site was totally down yesterday, and i freaked out.


    i don't watch idol regularly - but i've loved carrie since they had the tryouts. she is my favorite! right up there with kelly clarkson (although in my opinion (cause yes, you care about my opinion), nobody will be better than kelly).


    i'm craving oatmeal, anybody got oatmeal?

     
  • At 8:48 AM, Blogger A Career Woman and A Housewife said…

    Leonie... It was messed up this morning, however I did not notice it yesterday after 4:00. Welcome back, and what time is it there now?

    Erin... Im sorry for the panic, I panicked as well! Thanks for the camera advice, and I totally have brown sugar oatmeal in my desk at work. Yummy!
    -Career Woman

     
  • At 8:51 AM, Blogger A Career Woman and A Housewife said…

    Erin,
    In case you haven't noticed (from previous posts), I have oatmeal every morning prior to the unloading the dishwasher ceromony...I'm well stocked, I'll send ya pack.

    I had a mini heart attack last night when I could get on our site, I thought it was attacked by anonymous commenters and banned from the blogosphere, I was ready to call the FBI, but it seems under control now, we can all go on with our lives.
    -Housewife

     
  • At 10:27 AM, Blogger Erin said…

    mmmm...oatmeal with brown sugar.
    that sounds so lovely now.
    i guess i'll just have to settle for my milk duds...

     
  • At 10:59 AM, Blogger Rachael said…

    American Idol is totatlly rigged. How else can you explain the obvious injustices that have been committed?

     
  • At 11:42 AM, Blogger MommaK said…

    Scott is sooooooo annoying. And now he wants to get all cocky about being around for another week....he makes me so mad.

    What was up with Ryan not wanting to put his arm around any of the contestants last night? During the judges comments, they each went to put their arm around him (as usual) and he shrugged them off. It was very weird...

     
  • At 1:09 PM, Blogger The Dirty South said…

    Didn't your mothers teach you not to make fun of people? Come on girls it's not nice....lol


    As for the Isle of Palms pics...I had to borrow someone else's digital camera since mine was broken and I didn't get the cord to attach it to my computer yet...I promise to have them up tommarrow for your veiwing pleasure.

     
  • At 5:36 PM, Blogger TrueJerseyGirl said…

    You already know my opinions...and you pretty much share them.

    BTW, we call Scott "Sausage Fingers" at our house!

     
  • At 5:19 AM, Blogger A Career Woman and A Housewife said…

    Sausage fingers, hahahahaha.... Anyways we were wrong in this weeks predictions, however, good, see ya scottie "the body" (ya right Seacrest)
    -Career Woman

     

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