A Career Woman and A Housewife

Here's the deal, this our blog... This is where we come to write about our lives. The Good. The Bad. The Ugly. And of course, The Beautiful. We welcome anyone to come on in, take a look around and have a few laughs. Nothing makes us happier than nice comments and finding a new BLOG friend. If you can't handle what we have to say, just leave quietly and pretend you've never been here...We will retaliate.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Ex-Lushes and An Open Letter

First off, Pumpkinface and I are NOT lushes. With his work schedule and our need for money to purchase a house and like live and stuff does not permit for the lavish, party life we used to live. Therefore, both albums (my 23rd birthday and New Year's Eve), are probably the only two times this year that we have gotten biggity-bombed. Granted my birthday is coming up next month so that should be more drunken poses and pictures for you to make fun of, however, we are again, not alcoholics. (Housewife, is it possible for you to find a non-drunken, adult-like photo of us.... haha, probably not).

Now, an open letter to the directors of the counselor ed program at Duquesne University:

Ah-ha, You have called back. Lovely. First off, I would just like to say that you annoy me and piss me off all at the same time. It has only taken exactly one week for you to call me back with no information nor explanation for why in the hell I have to drive two hours to meet with you concerning the bug-eyed professor who has made it her lifetime goal to ruin my life. Brillant.

First off, miss two-ton tessie and mr. roly poly "spit on my face when you talk to me" jackass, how many times is it necessary that I remind you, I DO NOT LIVE IN PITTSBURGH. I know that I border insanity for traveling two hours a day to your education-less university, but again, I do not live there. Do not EVER leave me another message stating that it is 6:00 p.m. and you will be in the office until 7:15 p.m. and I can just "stop by. I know you are not a doctor of math, but I think that subtraction is something learned in what, 2nd grade, therefore, please einstein, realize that that time slot will not work for me. Are we clear?

Secondly, if you offer to set up one more appointment with me and not explain the reason for said appointment, I will take the planner that I had to write our "appointment" down on and not-so-gently shove it up your two-ton tessie and roly poly "spit on my face" jackass rearends, and I will do this sideways and insert it with a big f-ing stick. I explained to you A-GAIN, that I do not like not having my concerns addressed promptly. Let me remind you of your job again as counselors. You are supposed to guide students and provide them with a solid foundation in working with others, especially those in need. Is it not obvious that I am in "need" of your guidance? Apparently, it is not.

Thirdly, in our first conversation, a week ago, you mentioned that the bug-eyed bitch had an issue in "evaluating me," again, for some un-gawdly known reason you were not able to inform me why. I asked you twice in a round-about way the reasoning for my inconvient trip down there and it is apparent that with you, I am not able to beat around the damn bush. So I said: Can you please tell me what her concerns are with me, because if I had not contacted you myself addressing my concerns previously, I would not know why we are having this meeting. Now fellow-blogger-readers, is that statement so hard to understand? Or should I have put it in their terms: Dr. Two-Ton Tessie and Roly Poly "Spit in my face when you talk to me" Jackass, I will feed you 10 Sausage McMuffins, 10 Hashbrowns, a bag of doritos, and a crumbcake if you tell me why this professor has a problem with me? Should that work better?

Something must have finally made you understand my question and you answered it, sort of. You said that it is concerning my "classroom presence." WTF is that about?!?!?! What was wrong with my classroom presence, therefore it is not my attendance, but apparently my demeanor? Listen people, you want a bitch, I will give you a bitch!

To inform you ahead of time, regarding a little meeting, I will not accept a grade lower than an A in a class called "Counseling in the Elementary School." If I can manage an A in Statistics of Behavioral Research, I sure as fuck, can handle an A in this piss-poor excuse for a foundation of continued learning. I can only hope and pray for your university in knowing that you possibly had a video camera or tape recorder to view my "classroom presence," so I can sue your fat-crumbcake-ass for defamation of character. And do not think that I won't....remember I work for the District Attorney, who is my neighbor, who wants to buy my grandmother's house. Looks like someone would be on my side, now doesn't it.

Therefore, I will meet you on Monday evening before my class. I will address my concerns and will spin your head around if I receive a lower grade than an A in any of the asshat course I was enrolled in Spring Semester. This is fair warning...do NOT f$#k with me! Have a Wonderful Day!

Career Woman

6 Comments:

  • At 7:57 AM, Blogger Erin said…

    hahaha, sausage mcmuffins and hashbrowns.

    you need to give them the mcgriddles, they are the most fattening sandwhich mcdonalds has ever produced, i'm sure the two ton tessie and spit in yo face dude will enjoy those much better.

    as for the bitch thats trying to not give you an a? i'm sure she's like a mcshaker or whatever that salad thing is.

    as long as you are taking lunch orders, may i have a bigmac? no onions.
    thanks!

    lets two ton tessie, spit in yo face dude, all the staff at wells fargo, anybody else that works in a bank, my advisors, and my former roommate and have a rumble....

    (and i'm sorry that you have to deal with this. if i come help you get your A, will you come help me try to convince my professors that i'm not stupid and can handle an extra english class? i mean, my advisor TOLD me i was dumb, that i couldn't 'handle the course content'. travel writing. straight a's in english since i came out o' the womb...
    again, i hate stupid people)

     
  • At 8:32 AM, Blogger TrueJerseyGirl said…

    Hm, I get the feeling you are just a little angry with them?

     
  • At 8:39 AM, Blogger A Career Woman and A Housewife said…

    Why are there so many stupid people on this earth?
    Really...I've thought about it and that is the ONLY way I am able to respond to that post.
    -Housewife

     
  • At 8:44 AM, Blogger A Career Woman and A Housewife said…

    Erin,

    I was on the topic of McDonald's b/c I had it this morning... I will ship you your big mac though!

    True Jersey Girl,

    More than you know!

    Skankest,
    I don't know why....there just are!
    -Career Woman

     
  • At 9:38 AM, Blogger Rachael said…

    Note to self: never ever ever ever ever ever ever piss off Career Woman.

     
  • At 10:03 PM, Blogger Bumbling Bav said…

    Wow, if I ever need a letter wrote... you are the person to come to!

     

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