A Career Woman and A Housewife

Here's the deal, this our blog... This is where we come to write about our lives. The Good. The Bad. The Ugly. And of course, The Beautiful. We welcome anyone to come on in, take a look around and have a few laughs. Nothing makes us happier than nice comments and finding a new BLOG friend. If you can't handle what we have to say, just leave quietly and pretend you've never been here...We will retaliate.

Friday, May 13, 2005

T.G.I.F.

Phew, It has been one hell of a week, thus, I have survived. I have had 40 hours of work and 16.5 hours of classes and I am still kickin' - except for the massive explosion going on inside my stomach right now causing me to run to the restroom every 15 minutes in the secret hallway with a single stall (Thank Gawd). I don't know what the frick I ate, or drank, or breathed in (which seems to be the way I get bellyaches nowadays), but it has taken a toll on this girl. I, for one, might not be the royal blast, and rip-roorin' good time I normally am, sad news, I know. However, hopefully Housewife will sucker down at least 1.5 drinks and be off her rocker, swearing and cussing out everyone, including me (which she did last time). I will for surely recommend a drunken post for your enjoyment!

Possibly my belly will begin feel better after a soak in the tanning bed and a little inspiration from my Housewife. And like she said in her post, we will more than likely run into someone we like and would love to carry on a conversation with and more than likely we will also run into someone whom we'd like to tear every limb from their body, chop into little pieces, and feed them to their own dogs, because, gawd, I'd never let my beloved Pooches or Dig Dog eat someone so tainted. When we go out, (which nowadays, considering two children, a husband, and a fiance, is more like dinner and a couple of drinks once every six months), we act like high school valley girls, with attitude, finger-snappin', "mmm'hmmm's," all the while with a glass of wine in our hands (see, that makes us more "mature"). But our conversations during our night out seems to always follow a similar path...

CW: There's that skank whore, remember her in high school, she was always fat. I hate her guts.
HW: Yeah, she's a bitch. I'd like to pluck out every eyelash, lash by lash.
CW: If she looks this way one more time, I swear I am going to go over there, and sock her in the f-in face so she'll need plastic surgery, then afterwards, maybe, she'll look better.
HW: She's ugly, she can't look better.

Or....
HW: Oh Look, it's "so-and-so." I haven't seen them in forever. Sheesh, how long has it been?
CW: Wow, it has been a long time, we're getting old.
HW: But, we're still pretty.
CW: Oh, yeah, definately.
HW: Call her over here, I don't know if she'll remember us.
CW: Okay.... wait, 'er, um, she's ignoring us.
HW: Whatever, she's ugly.
CW: Oh yeah, obviously jealous.
HW: Did I tell you you look pretty tonight?
CW: Awe, you too!

You can typically insert different names in this conversation, however, they all follow the same route. If you are our friend and you come and talk to us, you're lucky we like you. If you are our friend and ignore us this evening, you're rude and more than likely jealous. If you are not our friend and gawk, I feel bad for you, you're ugly and jealous. If you are a stranger, who we do not know, more than likely you outfit and hair-do is going to be all wrong and we'll talk about it. If you are a guy, and you're staring at us, keep staring, we're pretty, but we're taken!

-Career Woman

4 Comments:

  • At 1:52 PM, Blogger Bumbling Bav said…

    I love it!

    Ya it never hurts the ego to be checked out by a hottie!

     
  • At 3:03 PM, Blogger The Second Child said…

    Happy? I made a blog, maybe you can't tell who this is... hmmm.... but I don't plan on writing in it so it doesn't really matter. lol.

     
  • At 3:04 PM, Blogger Erin said…

    so, tell us how much fun friday night was!!!!

     
  • At 5:21 AM, Blogger Dawn said…

    been there and done that...I guess that is just a standard conversation:)

     

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