A Career Woman and A Housewife

Here's the deal, this our blog... This is where we come to write about our lives. The Good. The Bad. The Ugly. And of course, The Beautiful. We welcome anyone to come on in, take a look around and have a few laughs. Nothing makes us happier than nice comments and finding a new BLOG friend. If you can't handle what we have to say, just leave quietly and pretend you've never been here...We will retaliate.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

The Beach And A Few Open Letters

What ever happen to quality blogging on this site? This used to a place where one could come and read mean and conceited things and laugh and maybe even wish they could slap us for some of the things we say but as I scroll through my archives all I see is boring play by play posts of my life. Really, who wants to read this? I guess all this beautiful weather has put me in this good mood and nothing irritates me anymore. No rants? No Open Letters? No HW and CW dialogue? What is this place? And what have you done with A Career Woman and A Housewife? I am actually shocked that I have not gotten any hate mail about how sick someone is of reading about my family life. Hmmmm? Perhaps the disclaimer and the Asshole Hall of Fame has actually sunken in? Whatever the case may be, thanks for sticking with me on this. I know we are all waiting for an exciting post from Career Woman...I wish she would get with the program and get her internet fixed or get a job or something. So once again I will post about Family Fun Sunday, The Beach, and My Children. Simply because that is ALL I have to post about.

We spent the entire day at Hampton Beach. Again. And so did half of New England and a good percentage of tourists. As if the beach was not packed enough...The tide kept get coming closer and closer towards shore, forcing everyone to pack up their belongings and move 'em back about 10 feet. And we had to make the 10 foot move about every 15 minutes. By the end of the day. There was very little beach left and a whole lot of sweaty, sunburned strangers getting REALLY close with one another. This sent mostly everyone running into the water. This also meant that lots of lifeguards were patrolling

An Open Letter to The Super Sexy Shaven Lifeguard Hunk

Dear Super Sexy Shaven Lifeguard Hunk,

Thank you for being such a beautiful sight amongst the grossly out of shape hairy guys that roam the beach in speedos. Your perfectly coifed blond hair and amazingly buff body that was tanned to a perfectly golden shade has made me smile and brought back my enthusiasm for a day at the beach after being forced to sit so closely to a man with visible fungus growing on his foot. Watching you walk back and forth along the waves infront of me has brought to my attention that I do have a thing for men in uniform. A very small, red, almost non-existent, uniform. I don't know if it was your breath-takingly good looks, the way you blew your whistle or the fact that your legs appeared smoother than my own that has grabbed my attention but again, I thank you Super Sexy Shaven Lifeguard Hunk, for making my day a little sweeter.

Sincerely,
-Housewife


An Open Letter to The Lovely Young Couple That Desperately Needed A Room

Dear Lovely Young Couple That Desperately Needed A Room,

There is only one reason two people would be wrapped in a blanket... On a beach... In weather that is over 100 degrees. You. Were. Doing. It.
For how obvious you had made yourselves, there is really no reason to have suffered the heat under the blanket. Why not just throw off the blanket and smile for sleezeball 5 feet over, that was taking your picture?
Lovely Young Couple That Desperately Needed A Room, I was very close to getting up and taking a collection of money from other beach goers so that you could go across the street to the Drift In Motel and purchase yourself a bed with 4 walls and a door. However when the young lady got up and began tying her bikini bottom back together at the side, while walked down to the water to rinse herself off, I then realized that my thoughtful gesture was too late. Please don't let this happen again.

Sincerely,
-Housewife

An Open Letter to The Boy That Made It His Job to Throw Sand In My Eye

Dear Boy That Made It Your Job To Throw Sand In My Eye,

I don't know why your were running on the beach. Did you not realize there was a very TINY area we all were force to inhabit this hot and sunny day? Has it not been brought to your attention that when you run through sand it kicks up and lands in the faces of people laying on it? Lots of people lie in the beach. It's called suntanning. Something your very white self may not be familiar with. I repositioned myself several times, just to have you run on the other side of my blanket and kick more sand into my eye. Please do me a favor and run into the water. Far, far, far into the water. So far that Super Sexy Shaven Lifeguard Hunk will be forced to jump in after you. Seeing the Super Sexy Shaven Lifeguard Hunk emerge from the water with wet trunks may be your only hope of me forgiving you.

Sincerely,
-Housewife


An Open Letter To The Lady That Forgot That Sound Travels

Dear Lady That Forgot That Sound Travels,

Just a little reminder that just because you have on headphones and the people around you cannot hear your music, does not mean they cannot hear YOU when you sing along with your music. Perhaps this would have been OK when we were all spread out, very far from one another but you are now surrounded by lots of people that find it nauseating to hear a 40 year old woman in a lime green thong, singing "OOPS I DID IT AGAIN" at the top of her lungs with absolutely no instrumental music to drowned out her unpleasant pitch.
Lady That Forgot That Sound Travels, please stop singing. The retired couple behind you has now put down their reading books and are beginning to look very hostile. They most likely will be approaching you soon.

Sincerely,
-Housewife

Well, I'd love to tell you all more but it seems I'm running out of time, someone has to cook dinner here. I have some really cool pictures of the sand sculptures. If anyone's interested let me know and I'll post them.

-Housewife

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