A Career Woman and A Housewife

Here's the deal, this our blog... This is where we come to write about our lives. The Good. The Bad. The Ugly. And of course, The Beautiful. We welcome anyone to come on in, take a look around and have a few laughs. Nothing makes us happier than nice comments and finding a new BLOG friend. If you can't handle what we have to say, just leave quietly and pretend you've never been here...We will retaliate.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

A Day in the Life of Housewife

Woke Up: With a terrible back ache. Contemplated sucking down every drug in my medicine cabinet...Then thought, nay forget it, Yo home to Bel-Air.

No. Really.

I then proceeded hobbling to the kitchen singing "I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and yelled to the cabbi yo homes smell ya later looked at my kingdom I was finally there to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel-Air.....

Then as I finished with the little na da na na na na na and did the little headed spin just like the Fresh Prince himself, something in my back snapped and VOILA! Better. Who needs drugs when you have the Fresh Prince? True story.

Took a Shower: Not an easy task when your by yourself with 2 small children. I've tried all the other ways. They are not sufficient. The only way I can get it done is to bring the whole crew into the bathroom with me. Before it was done, I had one small person wearing a Pull Up sitting on the drain with the water rising above my ankles and another small person trying to shave her legs. But we survived. Even the fall as we stepped out of the shower and onto the soaked bathroom floor. There goes my back again. (Mental note: it is absolutely impossible to keep the shower curtain in a closed position when you have a shower full of toddlers).

Out the Door: I had some errands to run today. First stop, STAPLES. Had to get a ink cartridge so I could finish printing pictures for a scrapbook page. The scrapbook that I have neglected for months but now feel pressured to start again because Career Woman is all caught up in the terrible addiction of scrapbooking and it's making me feel like I should really be finishing mine.

Now, I have been to this STAPLES once before. When I first moved here to Mass. I was new and disoriented and just thought that I looked out of place and that is why the people there were so friendly to me. But now, a 10 month resident, I feel comfortable and confident and feel that despite the fact that I can pronounce words correctly, I blend in with the New Englanders rather well. For this, I have no other reason to assume that this particular STAPLES is just where the Freakishly Friendly People work. I felt like the freakin' Queen of England in that place. You couldn't get better service at a Country Club. It was kind of spooky. It would not have surprised me if someone began to massage my feet as I stood in line. Now there are places that you shop where you could expect to have your ass kissed but....STAPLES? Scary. I'm thinking about writing a letter to STAPLES and telling them that I refuse to come back to that store until I'm treated like shit. Would that be weird? Cause seriously people, I'm afraid to go back there...they are Aliens!

Then to the scrapbook store. I actually thought I could look around and maybe even make a purchase in the scrapbook store with my kids with me. Huh. What a fool. I lasted a total of 3 minutes there. I was just a figment of the cashier's imagination. When she wakes up tonight from the sound of kids screaming she'll remember that the stressed out woman carrying the screaming banshee with a troll running at her feet, was in fact real.

Over to the grocery store for a few odd and ends. I had a small fight with Bella over some cupcakes and asked an Asian woman who I'll assume did not speak English to excuse me 5 five time cause she was blocking the aisle way, all while she stood there looking at me like I was naked. Checked to see if I WAS naked. Might explain why the Freakishly Friendly STAPLES People were so nice to me. WASN'T. Then left without gravy because I was too lazy to go up and around the aisle that was guarded by the Asian woman who I'll assume did not speak English.

Then over to McDonald's for lunch. Not my favorite choice, but I was out voted by the Ronald McDonald fan club sitting in car seats behind me. All because of the Playland..whoo-hoo! The very Playland that you cannot "play in" if you are not wearing socks. My very disappointed children who were wearing sandals, did not have socks on. No problem. I'll buy them at the counter. The McDonald's back home sold socks at the counter for $1 a pair. Problem solved. Nope. The half-wit behind the cash register might as well had called the manager over to help her laugh at me. Silly Housewife. Why would you ever think that the McDonald's with out the drive-through would also sell socks like every other effing McDonalds in the universe?
Oh, BTW I found out WHY there are no drive-throughs within a 50 mile radius of me. It apparently "degrades the town." Yes, a drive through supposedly degrades the snootiness of mere existence of Littleton, Acton, Westford, Concord and Lexington. The only way fast food restaurants were allowed to build in these towns were if they did not have a drive-though and were considered a "sit down restaurant." Woopty frickin' Dooo. McDonald's magically becomes a high class eating facility if you just chop off the outside menu and the speaker. After a fit of tears (from the kids, not me) I wander back to my table, clicking my sockless heels together. There's no place like home, There's no place like home, There's no place like home.

Back Home: I stumbled through the door carrying the dead weight of my sleeping baby and 5 bags of groceries, listening to Bella cry because the toy from her Happy Meal that she had to carry in "was too heavy."

Are there any takers out there willing to give me a day off? Anyone? Yoo hooo? Helloooo.

Guess not.

And I didn't even tell you how my evening was.

-Housewife

25 Comments:

  • At 6:57 PM, Blogger Erin said…

    ohhhhhhhhhhh, i'm sorry!
    mcdonald's sells socks? damn. didn't know that.

     
  • At 7:04 PM, Blogger A Career Woman and A Housewife said…

    The New Castle Pennsylvania McDonald's sells socks. I swear it.

    Here's your assignment class:
    The next time you go to McDonald's (one that had a Playland) ask if they sell socks. Then report back to me.

    -Housewife

     
  • At 7:52 PM, Blogger Taylor said…

    Phew, can I stop sweating over here now?! LOL! Man-o-man I think I certainly can wait until Tristyn gets old enough to talk, walk, and interrupt my shopping! LOL!

     
  • At 2:37 AM, Blogger LĂ©onie said…

    Oh! Maybe you should have gone back to STAPLES? It sounds like they would have given you some socks, or maybe made some for you with the fabric of their love. Or fashioned some kind of play area where no socks are good socks?
    Hope you're not too exhausted - find a babysitter and come to London!
    xx

     
  • At 5:33 AM, Blogger Doug said…

    Sounds like the typical life and times of any of us parents. Sometimes, I just want to pull my hair out just getting them into bed. The McDonalds in Lewistown, PA does not sell socks, but they also did not have a rule about wearing socks that I could see. If it was there, the kids played anyway. The thing about the drive thru kills me. Like taking off the drive thru is going to make the place look any different.

     
  • At 5:52 AM, Blogger Bug said…

    How smashing is a Maccas that sells socks?? That's great!

    Is STAPLES some kind of stationery store? (Hi there, naive Australian over here - hey, how you doing?) I LURVE stationery

     
  • At 6:08 AM, Blogger Robert said…

    staples huh, u sound so organised. wish i was. organised that is. and got comments on my blog that is. am i weird? that is. Now that I've broken then ice and totally weirded u out, just wanted to say hi, another person has read bits of your blog and seen a glimpse into the life of... a person! Well done. Keep yourself sane, or whatever you think you should do in life! staples huh. we don't have those stores here:-)

     
  • At 6:09 AM, Blogger Spurious Plum said…

    Every once in a while I get this nice, controlled urge to have me some babies. And then I read about two toddlers in a tub.

    You're a brave, brave woman!

     
  • At 6:37 AM, Blogger Doug said…

    Bug - Staples is an office supply store (computers, stationary, software, stationary, office furniture, stationary, pen, stationary, pencils, stationary, and all other assortment of office supplies).

     
  • At 10:58 AM, Blogger A Career Woman and A Housewife said…

    Housewife, after all our telephone conversations yesterday, I was not aware that you did just experience the day from hell. You hide it well!
    -Career Woman

     
  • At 11:18 AM, Blogger GlitterGlamGirl05 said…

    I'm from Mass and used to work at Mc. Donald's - we never sold socks!

     
  • At 4:40 PM, Blogger Kimmie said…

    I SO remember the toddler days, when you couldn't even take a crap with little ones cryin "momma" CRAZINESS... oh wait my kids are now 10 and 12 and they still seem to call my name when I am on the 'throne' (and not the one at the Prince of Bel-Air either) I think they must have been born with mommy-potty intuition.

    Have a great long weekend! I enjoy reading you an the Career Woman!

     
  • At 12:24 AM, Blogger vegemiterules said…

    Hugs Nikki,

    You deserve a medal girl!!!!!!!

    In all the times I have been into the golden arches of Mackas in Australia, I have never seen a sign that you can only play in the playgrounds if you have socks on, I will really have to take notice next time.

    I hope you get a chance to get a bit of time for yourself over the weekend, take care

     
  • At 5:25 PM, Blogger suburban mom said…

    Oooh, you're braver than I - I would never step foot in a staples or a scrapbook store with my kids in tow.

    BTW - cool blog - I just might bookmark it :)

     
  • At 8:37 PM, Blogger tam said…

    I live in Montana. A small small one horse town type thing and our McDonald's sell socks also. They don't monitor the playroom and make sure all kids have socks on but they do sell them for the people who actually obey by the rules of the signs. Yes we actually have the signs up also. I don't think I have actually been in a McDonalds that does not have those signs up in the playroom. Strange situation. At any rate, I don't go into the playroom that much unless I have my niece with me so there might be alot of them around but if our town has it, it must be common, because we are always the last ones to get ANYTHING around here.

     
  • At 11:04 AM, Blogger Jim Naka said…

    Your blog is excellent - keep it up! Don't miss visiting this site about toy trains. It pretty much covers toy trains related stuff.

     
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    Hi, I was just blog surfing and found you! If you are interested, go see my nyc restaurant related site. It pretty much covers nyc restaurant stuff. I guess you may find something of interest.

     
  • At 2:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Shop at your favorite stores 24 hours a day. Why go to the mall when you can shop online and avoid the traffic

     
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